So, what’s now? Thursday, Apr 10 2008

The day that I’ve been waiting for 3 years is finally here. I’m graduating, not just soon. Tomorrow! What am I going to do with my life? Work… Work… Work…

I don’t mind. I just don’t know what would be the best thing for me to do right now. I had two jobs offers. One is a job that I got through applying as everybody else does. It will be paid ok and a job is not very serious, I don’t really get any kind of responsibilities. I already know that I am welcome there.

Second job is “dream job” probably in a huge company, something that I’m not really qualified for, but because of my connections I might get it.

What should I do? Take a job I know I can do? or wait for a chance to get a perfect challenging job. I guess it’s all about how much I am confident in myself. Do I dare to take a job that is better then me and work, and learn? or just take one small step at a time…

I must tell you that I took the small job, a job I can do, without any promises in the future. I just think to myself… was it a right decision?

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Job Search Saturday, Feb 17 2007

When the time comes to look for a job it’s the most amazing experience anyone could have. I don’t even believe in what I’m saying right now, but this topic is much closer to me then anything that I was writing about before.

I honestly always thought that it’s not hard to find a job, because I always get lucky, I guess. I never was out of job for more than a week! I know life is long and there is always a chance for me to stay without a job, but so far it seems pretty easy to me. 

I was thinking about why is that so easy to find a job for some people and not so much for others? I can’t say that I have so many extraordinary qualities that nobody else has. I’m not really good on speaking and selling myself. English is not even my own language. I stumble and stutter during interview and kill myself over all the mistakes that I’ve done. Nevertheless, a few days later there is always a phone call with a job offering.

 

I think that a lot of times people are just looking for a wrong job. Why are you applying for a nanny job if you hate children? What’s the point of applying for a job as a legal clerk if you’ll end up fixing computers instead? Some people will tell me that it doesn’t matter what you are doing as long as you can learn… but you can’t learn love something that you really are not good at… and you’ll stumble and break your neck a million times till you figure that out… I guess.

 

When I look for a job, I really do look for something that I know I will at least enjoy doing. At least a little bit. But the decision about the enjoying your job must came to you actully before you are applying for it.

 

There are some jobs that we work at out of neccessety… I had those jobs to. I hated it and never stayed long…proving what I’ve said before. No haterage for job you’re applying for.

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Pride and Judgment Saturday, Feb 17 2007

So, where is that line that devides self-respect and joy for the accomplishments? How do you know when you have enough self-respect that doesn’t changes into arrogance or unnnatural feelings of incredibly strong self-esteem, and you don’t even want to talk to people who looked at you in a wrong way?

I think people judge so much. And it doesn’t matter what color is your skin, what you are wearing, if you have a tatto or not, and what you eat for breakfast. There is always going to be something that you going to be judged about. How stupid is that!?!?!

You go to the airport and see a lady with 2 todlers, who are crying and screaming and make your ears shout for help. And and look at the mom and think that she is the most aweful mom in the whole world. But did you know that she was at the airport for so many hours and her husband is working in different state. Her kids didn’t get a nap because of the delay and she is just changing plans and have no place to go and kill the time…. we don’t know any of that and the only thing we can do is to judge…. Judge!

Don’t judge! It’s always come back to you. How can we become humble, but not look at everything with the “i-don’t-care” vision. Don’t Jodge! Give people some slack… they deserve it. YOU desirve it

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Shooting at Trolley Square,Salt Lake City, UT Friday, Feb 16 2007

 A gunman entered a shopping mall and began randomly shooting Monday night, killing five people and injuring many others before he was killed, police said.More than three hours later, police still were searching stores for shocked shoppers and employees who were hunkered down awaiting a safe escort from Trolley Square.

“We have six fatalities and multiple victims at hospitals,” police Detective Robin Snyder said. “They were found throughout the mall. I don’t know male or female or ages.”

At least four people were hospitalized. Two men in critical condition — one 50 and another 16 — were at University Hospital, spokesman Chris Nelson said. Another two people — one in critical and one in serious — were at LDS Hospital, said spokesman Jess Gomez. No other details were available.

The man entered the mall about 6:45 p.m. and began shooting randomly, Snyder said.

The two-story mall, just southeast of downtown, is a refurbished old trolley barn, with a series of winding hallways and about 80 stores, including the Hard Rock Cafe and an Old Spaghetti Factory.

An antique-store owner, Barrett Dodds, 29, said he saw a man in a trench coat exchanging gunfire with a police officer outside a card store. The gunman was backed into a children’s clothing store.

“I saw the cops go in the store. I saw the shooter go down,” said Dodds, who watched from the second floor.

Barb McKeown, 60, of Washington, D.C., was in another antique shop when two frantic women ran in and reported gunshots.

“Then we heard shot after shot after shot — loud, loud, loud,” said McKeown, who believes she heard approximately 20.

She and three other people hid under a store staircase until it was safe to leave.

“We live in Washington, D.C. We’re used to gunshots,” said McKeown, wrapped in a blanket across the street. “I thought I was coming home to safety city.”

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Is there safety? Anywhere in this world? I think there is no such place, right now. Where ever you go it is always possibility not to come back home that day. It is reality now and there is nothing you can do about that. Or… can you?

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What do you say to a gay? Friday, Feb 16 2007

I really don’t know. The other day I was on the trax and saw a guy who… I don’t know if “guy” is the right word for that person. Well, he had so much make up and fake nales, and his hair-do was just like the one some girls in high school usually do… I don’t know.

 I must say I was interested, and was thinking about my friend who would die to meet a gay person and hang out with him/her. So, I was thinking… what would I say if I would be ever brave enough to come and talk to a couple of gays. Maybe they hate straight girls. Maybe they think that noone in this world understands them and they feel as outcasts… But maybe that time is far in the past and they lead normal life and don’t care about what you or others think.

I don’t know what I would ever say to a gay, and how I would start the conversation… How about you?

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Happy Valentine’s Day? Thursday, Feb 15 2007

Wouldn’t you agree that whenever February 14 is around, and you are single, you have that sick feeling in your stomach? You think about all past Valentine Days that you spent alone, or what even worse, you think about those ex-boyfriends and how it was before you broke up.

 I didn’t have any sick feelings in my stomach. In fact I had so many hopes for this Valentine Day, because after 2 years the guy that I liked, finally was within reach at least by the means of telephone line. Happy Happy Valentine’s Day!

I couldn’t decide if I should call him, or wait till he calls me… My heart is jumping up and down and I can’t wait any longer. I’m calling!…. Happy Happy Valentine’s Day!

Crappy, Crappy Valentine’s Day! He is not moving to UT from OR, he is thinking to move to Hawaii!!! He is just laughing when I joke that he should move here close to me! I’m so glad that he couldn’t see my face, couldn’t feel my heart aching and tears rolling down my face from my pretty eyes:)…..

Crappy Crappy Valentine’s Day….

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Hello world! Thursday, Feb 15 2007

Long time ago I wanted to be a writer, so I can describe my feeling so well so people can read and feel and understand what I feel. I’ve never done it in public, however. Please leave me comments on what you read here, because it is very important to me and that’s how we can become better friends

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